26 July 2007
25 July 2007
Raccoon Home Invasion!
Raccoons Take Over Home
By Jessica Borg
June 25, 2007 - Residents are worried that raccoons might just overrun a block of North 54th Street in West Philadelphia.
That's how they getcha, block by block, city by city.
"(The) raccoons are taking over our block."
Will the citizens of the home of the Liberty Bell take this sitting down?
Twelve raccoons have found themselves a home in an abandoned house in the 1200 block of North 54th Street. And residents in the area say that's not all.
It never is.
"In the back of my home, I can see them climb up the tree. My windows are secure, but I don't want them to go in the house and gain access to the house," said Theresa Jenkins.
Raccoon hordes terrorize helpless retirees!
Action News spoke with wildlife expert Phil Nichols about the invading family.
"Raccoons get in homes and if they do, they can cause a lot of destruction. They're like monkeys. They can climb up a chimney and back down again."
Like evil, clever, bitey monkeys with masks.
He said the best way to keep the raccoons at bay is to put a cap on your chimney and always seal up garbage.
Or maybe park a car on the lawn.
"We cannot sit outside at night, because of the raccoon problem," said Renee Cohen who is frustrated with the problem.
You raccoons get off my lawn!
"They probably have a nest in my roof, but I don't want to go up there. I would like the city to go up there."
See Man Lured Onto Roof.
But the city won't remove the raccoons from the area.
What the! Don't we pay taxes?!
The animals, whose average weight is about 20 pounds, are not considered dangerous wildlife, but are more along the lines of squirrels.
Giant, evil, vicious squirrels that would sell out their own mother for a chicken bone.
The city has recommended that residents in that neighborhood get traps to catch them, then Animal Control agents will go out and collect the cages.
Damn bureaucrat hippies, probably to busy sitting under the air conditioner and dropping acid.
By Jessica Borg
June 25, 2007 - Residents are worried that raccoons might just overrun a block of North 54th Street in West Philadelphia.
That's how they getcha, block by block, city by city.
"(The) raccoons are taking over our block."
Will the citizens of the home of the Liberty Bell take this sitting down?
Twelve raccoons have found themselves a home in an abandoned house in the 1200 block of North 54th Street. And residents in the area say that's not all.
It never is.
"In the back of my home, I can see them climb up the tree. My windows are secure, but I don't want them to go in the house and gain access to the house," said Theresa Jenkins.
Raccoon hordes terrorize helpless retirees!
Action News spoke with wildlife expert Phil Nichols about the invading family.
"Raccoons get in homes and if they do, they can cause a lot of destruction. They're like monkeys. They can climb up a chimney and back down again."
Like evil, clever, bitey monkeys with masks.
Nichols said this is the time of year to see more and more raccoons, especially in urban environments. "The animals adapted to the city. There is no natural predator for it outside of automobiles."
And cars aren't doing their job.He said the best way to keep the raccoons at bay is to put a cap on your chimney and always seal up garbage.
Or maybe park a car on the lawn.
"We cannot sit outside at night, because of the raccoon problem," said Renee Cohen who is frustrated with the problem.
You raccoons get off my lawn!
"They probably have a nest in my roof, but I don't want to go up there. I would like the city to go up there."
See Man Lured Onto Roof.
But the city won't remove the raccoons from the area.
What the! Don't we pay taxes?!
The animals, whose average weight is about 20 pounds, are not considered dangerous wildlife, but are more along the lines of squirrels.
Giant, evil, vicious squirrels that would sell out their own mother for a chicken bone.
The city has recommended that residents in that neighborhood get traps to catch them, then Animal Control agents will go out and collect the cages.
Damn bureaucrat hippies, probably to busy sitting under the air conditioner and dropping acid.
Rocket Scientist Duped By Raccoon Gang
Couple finds raccoons are worthy foe
By CHARLIE PATTON, The Times-Union
When George and Phyllis Davenport retired nine years ago, they hoped to savor the natural beauty of Northeast Florida in their new home near the Intracoastal Waterway.
In the marshland behind their house, they saw blue herons, egrets, ospreys, a family of eagles, even an occasional alligator. Also raccoons. George Davenport loved the raccoons.
Uh oh.
"They're so adorable," he said.
Uuh-OH!
Ah, but he soon discovered they aren't just adorable. They are relentlessly clever.
And evil.
Davenport is, by profession, a scientist. A rocket scientist.
A Rocket Scientist.
blah blah blah, skip ahead. He and Phyllis first came to Jacksonville in October 1963. They were newlyweds, and he'd been hired as principal engineer for Thiokol Chemical Co.'s Large Solid Rocket Motor project near Kingsland, Ga. They settled in Jacksonville. Later, he worked as principal engineer for reliability engineering for all ground support equipment on the Apollo Project at Cape Kennedy. "My career followed rocket trails," he said. Nine years ago, after a bout with colon cancer, the father of two and grandfather of four retired. He and Phyllis built a home in the Gately Oaks neighborhood, just west of the Intracoastal Waterway near Mayport.
As part of his plan to "smell the flowers, listen to the birds and love my family," the professional engineer devised an elaborate system of pulleys and baffles to keep furry critters out of his bird feed.
Rocket Scientist wins battle against life-threatening illness only to wage war against bird feed marauders!
As his wife said, "A man who helped put a person on the moon should be able to outwit raccoons."
You'd think.
There followed what Davenport calls the "raccoon wars," with "measures followed by countermeasures" as he has battled to keep the squirrels and raccoons out of his bird feeder.
It got to the point, Davenport said, that he expected to walk out one day onto his back porch and find the raccoons soaking in his hot tub, sharing a wine cooler.
Nah, they were doing that around 2am. And hitting on your granddaughters.
Still, when a reporter and a photographer visited a couple of weeks ago, Davenport appeared to be temporarily triumphant. His latest modification, involving a system of wires designed to provide a mild shock, was working.
Fry, little bastards, FRY!
But Davenport admitted, "I know somewhere deep in the swamp the raccoons have called a conference."
Yes, yes they were.
So his most recent e-mail came as no surprise. "The raccoons have figured out a way to defeat my deterrent; they hang from the pole by their hind feet and stick their noses into the bird feeder hole," he wrote. "... These raccoons are amazing in their persistence and resolve; we could all take lessons from them!"
In how to be evil!
By CHARLIE PATTON, The Times-Union
When George and Phyllis Davenport retired nine years ago, they hoped to savor the natural beauty of Northeast Florida in their new home near the Intracoastal Waterway.
In the marshland behind their house, they saw blue herons, egrets, ospreys, a family of eagles, even an occasional alligator. Also raccoons. George Davenport loved the raccoons.
Uh oh.
"They're so adorable," he said.
Uuh-OH!
Ah, but he soon discovered they aren't just adorable. They are relentlessly clever.
And evil.
Davenport is, by profession, a scientist. A rocket scientist.
A Rocket Scientist.
blah blah blah, skip ahead. He and Phyllis first came to Jacksonville in October 1963. They were newlyweds, and he'd been hired as principal engineer for Thiokol Chemical Co.'s Large Solid Rocket Motor project near Kingsland, Ga. They settled in Jacksonville. Later, he worked as principal engineer for reliability engineering for all ground support equipment on the Apollo Project at Cape Kennedy. "My career followed rocket trails," he said. Nine years ago, after a bout with colon cancer, the father of two and grandfather of four retired. He and Phyllis built a home in the Gately Oaks neighborhood, just west of the Intracoastal Waterway near Mayport.
As part of his plan to "smell the flowers, listen to the birds and love my family," the professional engineer devised an elaborate system of pulleys and baffles to keep furry critters out of his bird feed.
Rocket Scientist wins battle against life-threatening illness only to wage war against bird feed marauders!
As his wife said, "A man who helped put a person on the moon should be able to outwit raccoons."
You'd think.
There followed what Davenport calls the "raccoon wars," with "measures followed by countermeasures" as he has battled to keep the squirrels and raccoons out of his bird feeder.
It got to the point, Davenport said, that he expected to walk out one day onto his back porch and find the raccoons soaking in his hot tub, sharing a wine cooler.
Nah, they were doing that around 2am. And hitting on your granddaughters.
Still, when a reporter and a photographer visited a couple of weeks ago, Davenport appeared to be temporarily triumphant. His latest modification, involving a system of wires designed to provide a mild shock, was working.
Fry, little bastards, FRY!
But Davenport admitted, "I know somewhere deep in the swamp the raccoons have called a conference."
Yes, yes they were.
So his most recent e-mail came as no surprise. "The raccoons have figured out a way to defeat my deterrent; they hang from the pole by their hind feet and stick their noses into the bird feeder hole," he wrote. "... These raccoons are amazing in their persistence and resolve; we could all take lessons from them!"
In how to be evil!
Samaritan Lured Onto Roof By Juvenile Raccoons!
Would-be Samaritan couldn't get off roof
By: J.D. Prose, Times Staff
07/24/2007
BEAVER FALLS - A would-be Good Samaritan found himself in need of some help getting down from a roof Tuesday night in Beaver Falls .
Hee hee- Beaver!
Terry Elko, 44, used an old 40-foot ladder and some youthful leaping ability to get on the roof at 1219 Fifth Ave. to try and help two baby raccoons that have been stranded in the home's chimney for two weeks.
Some guy old enough to know better got lured onto a roof by two raccoon squatters.
"They're suffering," said Elko, who lives across the street from the home owned by Central United Methodist Church on Sixth Avenue .
Methodist = tough love
Elko said animal control officials told him to call the city's fire department, which told him it doesn't handle animal calls. "Nobody's doing anything," he said.
Typical hippie bureaucrats didn't want to do anything.
After watching the raccoons scurrying around the roof for two weeks, Elko decided Tuesday to try and get them down on his own. He used the ladder, but he said it was a few feet short of reaching the roof.
After being brainwashed for two weeks, he used superhuman strength to get on roof.
When he tried to get down using the old ladder it didn't look as sturdy as it did when he went up it. "That ladder's messed up," Elko said.
Doh! Ladder didn't seem so bad when hypnotized by raccoons.
Enter Beaver Falls firefighters, who used a longer ladder to get Elko down around 8 p.m. ; he was stuck on the roof for about 20 minutes. "It doesn't look that far down?" said Elko, who estimated the roof was 50-feet high. "Climb up there and stand there for a second."
Trying to justify being duped by rodents...
As for the raccoons, they're still holed up in the chimney, and Elko hopes someone else will rescue them.
More like they lost interest in him when he didn't bring a live chicken or other snacks.
"I didn't want to go up there in the first place," he said.
But I was strangely compelled to...
By: J.D. Prose, Times Staff
07/24/2007
BEAVER FALLS - A would-be Good Samaritan found himself in need of some help getting down from a roof Tuesday night in Beaver Falls .
Hee hee- Beaver!
Terry Elko, 44, used an old 40-foot ladder and some youthful leaping ability to get on the roof at 1219 Fifth Ave. to try and help two baby raccoons that have been stranded in the home's chimney for two weeks.
Some guy old enough to know better got lured onto a roof by two raccoon squatters.
"They're suffering," said Elko, who lives across the street from the home owned by Central United Methodist Church on Sixth Avenue .
Methodist = tough love
Elko said animal control officials told him to call the city's fire department, which told him it doesn't handle animal calls. "Nobody's doing anything," he said.
Typical hippie bureaucrats didn't want to do anything.
After watching the raccoons scurrying around the roof for two weeks, Elko decided Tuesday to try and get them down on his own. He used the ladder, but he said it was a few feet short of reaching the roof.
After being brainwashed for two weeks, he used superhuman strength to get on roof.
When he tried to get down using the old ladder it didn't look as sturdy as it did when he went up it. "That ladder's messed up," Elko said.
Doh! Ladder didn't seem so bad when hypnotized by raccoons.
Enter Beaver Falls firefighters, who used a longer ladder to get Elko down around 8 p.m. ; he was stuck on the roof for about 20 minutes. "It doesn't look that far down?" said Elko, who estimated the roof was 50-feet high. "Climb up there and stand there for a second."
Trying to justify being duped by rodents...
As for the raccoons, they're still holed up in the chimney, and Elko hopes someone else will rescue them.
More like they lost interest in him when he didn't bring a live chicken or other snacks.
"I didn't want to go up there in the first place," he said.
But I was strangely compelled to...
declaration
Say it with me people- I am mad as hell at raccoons, and I'm not going to take it anymore!
*this website does not condone or advocate violence toward any living thing, and is even quite fond of kitties, foxes, dramatic chipmunks, puppies and the occasional cute baby.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
